Dearest Inner Child

I'm sorry if you ever felt hurt, abandoned, rejected or doubted by anyone in the past, or if you've ever felt that I have lived in a way that has excluded you from my experience. I’m sorry if I made you feel less than, humiliated, or judged by calling you an ego. I apologize for imagining you as a barrier to God, or something to get away from; as if you were not a pivotal part of my journey and the guardian to my highest Self.

I'm so sorry if my interest in spirituality made you feel like the invisible sibling that's never enough for my attention. I'm sorry if lovers seemed more important than honoring you. And when you felt unsafe around the people I surrounded myself with, I'm sorry I did not hear your requests. Instead, I tried to desperately earn the validation from those who made you feel unsafe. I now see how caring for you, my beloved innocence of heart, offers me the validation, confidence, and emotional support that no one else may be destined to provide.

May this moment of forgiveness be a re-start between us, where we make peace and allow the mind and heart to reunite by coming together in the oneness of love. May we engage in the beauty and harmony of consciousness, so each battle or wound within me can be healed for the wellbeing of all. May I finally feel the joy of being myself, as a conscious parent to you, my own innocent nature. May you no longer have to act so desperately to earn my loving approval. May you no longer have to create existential crisis as a way of calling out for my loving attention.

I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I did not know how deeply you hurt. From this moment forward, I intend to be the one that keeps you safe, honors your curiosities and concerns by allowing you to share whatever you need to say. I am ready to turn towards the light of my divinity by listening to anything you wish to share with engaged heart-centered attention. I am ready to love you as never before, knowing it’s not about being perfect, but doing my best to allow love to be my response to the emotions you use to communicate with me.

Whether it's fear, sadness, anger, jealousy, guilt, shame, insecurity, loneliness, frustration, confusion, or even gratitude, openness, peace, and joy, each feeling is an opportunity to love you throughout each passing experience – no matter how preferable, freeing, frustrating, or inconvenient any of it seems to be.

Thank you for being a part of my life. I love you – now and forever. And so I am healed.
Please take a moment to honor the positive visceral reaction you may sense after reading this, as your inner child's way of saying, "Thank you. I trust you now".

~Matt Kahn